How do you debase a narcissist?

I know this person. He is not a small man.In fact he carries alot of weight in the
community. In the local area he can get people hired & fired. I have never had an
in person conversation with this person nor have I had more than 2 very brief
business phone calls with him many many years ago. You see I used him as a vendor.
I was his & his business’ customer for many years. During those years there were some
odd incidents but nothing that caused me to stop using him as a vendor. I stopped
having need of his business years ago. I have not seen him since. Nor is there any
logical reason for the man to be a part of my life at all or to have any connection with
me or the people in my life. But he is stil for some inexplicable reason he is still a
part of my life & he daily affects greatly my life & those in my family & close circle.
There are increasing incidents of public debasement. These incidents are occuring in
frequency & they are increasing in intensity and when I say that I mean they are becoming dangerous. He is directly affecting my ability to earn a paycheck. He is directly affecting my ability to obtain a job. The last public incident occured at a job I was succeeding at. It was his work. At my father’s NH he is affecting my father’s healthcare & access to his personal clothing. I am my father’s POA & am usually able to get a medication any medication dc’d via my order or request & right away. No fight. However it took a week of talking to several staff members & having to call the corp office to finally get it stopped. This was in order to begin a long run of a long drawn out debasement of me in the eyes of the staff that works there to begin another year there of making it seem like it is the in house staff that is debasing me or being rude but instead it is actually he that is doing this thru them & only the nurse will lose her job in a
way she can never find another one. And he will still have been able to keep up a
year of debasing me thru others. Now while all of this is happening he is frequently
making comments about my family members being narcissists. This is fascinating. My
ex-husband & eldest son are not narcissists. They are self-centered & self-involved
but they are not narcissists. Narcissists only care about themselves. Self-centered
care about themselves first & sometimes care about another once they care enough
about them but always still care about themselves first. This is fine. I still have
no replacement family standing by & live alone & every once in a while a girl needs
a little company, conversation or someone to move something heavy or to fix something.
And it is nice to have someone to eat with at holiday time.

Now I find it interesting that this man I speak of has no reason to be involved in
my life at all after 3 years of not going near his business but these incidents are
not coincidences & I have heard that I am not his first morbid obsession & I will not
be the last family or life that he destroys. Since he has all this power in the
community & I have no way to prove his involvement there is no way to stop him
without moving out of state. so the ruin to my son’s life & the increasing public
debasement of mine will continue unless I change my phone number & never leave
the house except to the grocery store or move out of state. What I cannot understand
is his need to destroy the relationships that I have with family members by
creating acts of depravity & public humiliation & then calling my family
narcissists.

I can tell you this. I have never felt sorrier for any human being in my life &
I am 63. I do feel sorry for my youngest son because he has chosen a life for
himself where he is obviously unhappy.

As much as my husband & son are self-centered, controlling & all I have never once
felt sorry for them. In fact right now I envy them their self-centered ways.

But I have never felt as sorry for my youngest son as I do for the individual that
seeks to destroy or drive a wedge between my family relationships & continue to
set up as many acts of public debasement with strangers while I go along trying
to negotiate my father’s healthcare.

I feel sorry for him because he has enough money & power to choose to spend his days
having fun with his wife/daughter. Going out to eat. Going to a show. We all make
several choices a day how we wish to spend our days. The only choices he is making
all day long are to make my father as miserable as possible at his nursing home &
create as many relationships in my life that involve public debasement as possible.

Just think of the fun he could be having if he chose to spend his time on something
to do with himself or his loved ones instead of continually destroying my life &
the lives of those around me. I have never had a time in my life where my entire
days, weeks, months were consumed by someone else’s life. Or someone else’s ruining
of a life & their relationships, or their ability to earn a paycheck or have other
healthy relationships enter their life. He not only wants me constantly debased if
I leave the house. he also does not want me to be able to make enough money to not
have to make difficult choices between healthcare & food for instance later on.
He also continually strives to keep anyone & I mean anyone from entering my life
or having anything to do with me & this has been going on for 15 years.

He could simply be spending his days doing anything else. But no he keeps destroying
my relationship with my sons, my ex-husband & keeping me from paychecks. And then
that is never enough. It then amps up to making my father uncomfortable & sick to
hurt me of course. And then set up debasement any time I leave the house.

I have never felt sorrier for any human being in my life.

Never.
And he might want to stop at calling the man helping me out at the NH a narcissist.
And not attack the only remaining son I have.

The only time I have been free of this debasement & ruining of family relationships
is when I spent 4 months in another state/town. It was only upon returning to Texas
that this ruining of life & constant debasement started back up with my father on
an operating table in an ICU for 1 month without pain meds. to ensure that I knew
if I went to FL again to be happy & free of debasement that my father or some other
family member would be made to suffer.

Here is the difference between this person who’s name shall not be mentioned is

I have never felt sorry for my son nor my husband, in fact I feel envy right now
for both of them because if I were as self-centered as they are I would not be
waking up with a headache every day and going to sleep everynight with ice cubes
for fingers & a stomach ache. I would never be debased in public because you cannot
debase someone that doesn’t feel it. I would never lose the ability to earn a
paycheck because ruining the life of a narcissist is no fun so now I would be able
to have access to both groceries & healthcare. I would never have the ills & aches
of the illnesses caused by stress because a narcissist does not have stress.

No, I truly have never envied my son & his dad more before in my life. I wish I were that
self centered because now I wouldn’t have to live with the knowledge of an unfulfilled life
because there is someone with a morbid obsession with debasing & destroying my life.

The only person I feel sorry for is this oddity of the human race that is consuming
his days ruining & keeping ruined any chance I have to fulfill the choices I would make
for myself.

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Party Noise

Well, the loud party noise went on again last night, Saturday, but at least this time it was 11:30 pm instead of 1:15 am. Not too bad on a Saturday & I really don’t care nearly as much about noise as I do about a male trying to get into my house or coming to my door after 9:00 pm.  Still haven’t found out what my visitor wanted or who it was on Thursday.  Maybe they thought I was the one having the parties??? :LOL Asking me to keep it down?

And it didn’t go on for more than 30 mins. on Saturday. I am just grateful there was no one knocking at my door late at night. Still haven’t found out who was at my door the other night.  I know people don’t think 9:15 (my knocker) is that late but you have to figure it wasn’t door to door sales at 9:15. It couldn’t be delivery services at 9:15. It shouldn’t be a neighbor on a social call at 9:15 or even on a request call (that would be at a daylight hour). So the question still is who & what was it?  Everyone has misunderstood that I am more bugged by the party noise. That does not impact my safety. A loud, urgent, angry knock at 9:15 pm does impact my safety so that is what concerned me. I still don’t know who it was or what it was about.

Strange Occurences in the Neighborhood

Odd Occurences in the neighborhood

I was sound asleep at 9:15pm on Thursday night, Sept. 3 when there was a very loud knock at my front door. I was awakened by the knock & frightened.I went downstairs & only saw a shadow crossing the street but only a blurry shadow obstructed by the trees. The knock had been quite loud as in something urgent or someone angry. There was no dog barking or other sign of who it had been. Nothing left on the door or porch. we have alot of dogs in the neighborhood & sometimes an angry neighbor will come & knock on doors til they can find the owner & ask them to keep the dog quiet. I don’t have a dog and am concerned when someone knocks that loud at that hour of night.

I never found out who was at my door.

Friday night Sept. 4 at 1:15 am I can’t get to sleep because of the hooping & hollaring of teens coming from the neighbor’s house 3 houses away. There was more than one voice. They were loud enough to hear inside my house. I had to wear earplugs to get to sleep. The type of high-pitched sounds the youths were making could not have come from someone sober. Previous to this whoo-hooing were a few pounds of the base type stereo coming from their hot-rods in the hour preceding the happy yelling.I am not inclined to make noise disturbance calls to the local police at 1:15 as I don’t want to delay my sleep. I do wonder what you would do if these things were happening in your neighborhood?

The only other times I had knocks at the door at that time of night were a pizza delivery kid looking for my neighbor’s house & a cop looking for the owner of a car parked illegally a block away.

I thought it was strange to knock on a citizen’s door after 10 pm just looking to warn someone of their car getting a ticket but both incidents were a long time ago. Months ago. I wonder who the knocker was & what I can do about the noise disturbances.

Roadside Emergency at Rush Hour in Dallas Fort Worth

My Friday afternoon – July 31, 2015

101 degrees – 5:30 pm – Rush Hour

I went to the shipping place to drop off 2 large cartons of linens to send
to a neighbor in Vero Beach, FL since there is no more room in the Impala
to bring my possessions. Plus this house is not a safe place to leave clothing
and destructibles for very long as the house will be unoccupied & there are
wildlife living in the crevices between the 1st & 2nd floors as well as in
the side walls & attic. Our back yard backs up to a wooded creek where
the raccoons, squirrels & many forms of wildlife live & breed. During the
hottest part of summer & coldest part of winter they enter the house through
the chimney (you can hear them enter & scamper about). Several times in the
past year repairs to the exterior have been made & they have repeatedly chewed
those repairs into a crawl space again. Evidence of their life in the attic is
obvious: damaged duct work, their waste all over the insulation in the attic,
and I total 4-5 squirrels & raccons that have been chased out of the house over
the past 2-4 years. The latest squirrel I found by getting into my bed at night
stretching out my feet & chasing something that was a speeding blur out of the
comforter in my bed – as it ran out of the bedroom it left a trail of very
strong waste all over the carpet & the clothing in it’s path.

That clothing is permanently ruined so as I say I am shipping all the things I
would like to see again to Vero Beach where the condo is maintained through a
maintenance fee. I can assure you there is no crawl space in the condo for any
wildlife to enter. In an abandoned or unoccupied house the house will become a
wildlife sanctuary & all my possessions will become damaged through either the
waste you can’t wash out ever or chewing & nesting in them. So basically before
leaving for Florida I have to either donate everything, throw it away or take it
where I am going. I have lived in this house since 1989, raised 2 sons here & there
is too much to fit in an Impala so it is all being shipped ahead of me. The cost
is not cost prohibitive & the only things not being shipped are irreplaceable &
too dear to trust to shipping or breakable or too heavy to be cost effective.

So as I say I had dropped the latest 2 cartons at the shipping store. Had come
all the way home when I realized I had not dropped a piece of mail at the PO
so I headed back out in my car to the PO. It was 102 out, it was 5:30 PM on a
Friday afternoon. Very heavy traffic, I had the a/c blowing on high & had to
put the car in park at every red light to put my foot on the accelerator just
to keep the cool air coming out of the vents. It is fine in motion but at a
red light it is blowing less cool air. So the light turns green, I put the car
in drive & it rolls backwards trying to run into the car behind me. I put it
back in park. Try again & it rolls in reverse again. I put it in park. Turn off
the ignition. Turn back on the ignition & it won’t stop & start back up. I turn
on the blinkers. Right across the street is a quiktrip & these 2 men start running
across the street towards me & tell me to put it in neutral & they will push it
into the gas station. They did. The steering worked. So I park to the side of
the station. Put it in park & the car starts rolling backwards into the entrance
which again was heavily trafficked. So I put on the emergency brake & that worked.

I go inside the gas station & call George the registered owner of the car & he
comes to drive me home & help get it towed to either the house or the shop. we
didn’t want to tow it to the shop & leave it parked over the weekend not knowing
whether it might roll or get broken into.

It takes an hour for the tow to come being Friday afternoon. George drives me home
with all things urgent taken along to the house & returns to give the tow truck
driver the car & money & now we will have to see where to take it in on Monday.
George says it is something that fell off between the gear shift & way it speaks
to the car instead of being the whole transmission.

It is a 2004 Chevy Cavalier with 105,000 miles on it. If it is too expensive a
repair it probably won’t be worth fixing. I don’t know how he knows it is a piece
that fell off. But the weirdest thing is the gear shift just moves freely across
the gears without clicking or needing the thing depressed to move it between gears
& he says that it was in some particular gear when it broke off so that is why it
keeps rolling. Like I say if it is the whole transmission it won’t be worth it for
a 105,000 mile car.

During the time waiting for George I sat on the floor of the Quiktrip with my back
against the beverage cooler. And of course the passing females all kept asking what
happened. I would think it was fairly obvious that it was some sort of roadside
emergency but who knows. It was 101 in the shade. I am just grateful I have dad’s
old Impala in the garage. It has 89,000 miles & is a 2006 it was rear-ended in the
summer of 2013 while I was sitting at a red light. State Farm called it a total loss,
tried to take it from me in return for a check & I changed the title state to TX, kept
the car & got a smaller amount from State Farm so now the trunk lid is held down
with bungee cords, & whenever outside the garage it is held down with bungee cords &
crash wrap never having been repaired since the repair estimates are more than what
I got from State Farm.

I have the money to afford a new car in savings but not enough for the number of cars
I will need before the savings runs out & I am not able to find gainful employment even
with high schoolers jobs. I am 63 years old & will be elibible for full retirement
benefits from Social Security at 66 but it will be about 400 dollars a month before
the medicare deductible, the supplemental insurance deductible & I really wanted to
pad the kitty before 66 but I have had 5-6 years of unemployment because of caring
for my alzheimer’s parents (I am an only child) & before that being a stay-at-home
mom so I really cannot afford to buy a new car even though the savings is there because
those savings will be needed for elder care, health care, housing, food, & utilities.

I have tried so many open positions in this area but I am giving up & moving to
FL in the crash wrapped car to try retail at Xmas time. Maybe if I sell enough credits
I will be kept on after. Of course I will be getting 5 hours a week which won’t help
anything except the employment history. Which I guess is something.

Divorce Papers

Well today Brian signed for receipt of the divorce papers after dodging the process server for a week.

Kerri & Brian at Zenna'sHe has 20 days to return his answer to the courts on the answer sheet which of course is missing from

the papers he signed for.

Of course he cannot find any other way to obtain the answer sheet becauseeach type of case requires a different answer sheet so if he does not pay for a professional lawyer to

represent him which he has no income to afford he will be in violation of the 20 day rule & be in more

trouble than he is by being evicted from the apartment where he is listed on the lease.

Brian & his wife married in July 2010 & were happily married until about 3 months ago when she took

the only car they shared to work one morning & didn’t return home after work. So basically he was home

alone with no wheels wondering where she was. She went to mother’s after work & texted him 2 hours

later (not called) and texted that she was not coming home. She came by the next day & said he could

keep the car & she would share her mother’s car until she moved back into the apartment which is right

next door to where she works. Kerri is a 10th grade English Teach at Wylie High School in Wylie Texas.

Then she says she is open to discussing a reconciliation. Changes her mind every week or so. Finally

files papers with the lawyer telling Brian not to hire his own lawyer because we are going to keep this

civil & nice. We are going to keep this an uncontested divorce. You keep what you had when we married.

I keep what I had.

Well being married only 5 years Brian does not qualify for any spousal support. But he does qualify for

50 percent of everything acquired during the marriage. As I said before she had gone through school

for her 4 years of teaching degree. She is still paying off student loans & this was only her first permanent

hire year at Wylie High School.

Therefore they only had the one car to share & since her pay was higher it was expected that Brian would

not get work. For 3 years he was kept at home like a caged pet without access to wheels. You cannot get

public transportation in the country to get work. And you cannot walk to work, not the way this area is.

He tried to find a job during that last 2 years just during nights & weekends so the car would be available

since she would be home by then but she said she did not want him working since she would never see him.

Then her girlfriend moves back home from out of state & she starts taking the car to the girlfriend’s once a

week for a girl’s night leaving Brian at home w/o wheels once again one night a week never asking if he would like to be dropped somewhere & forgetting telling him not to have employment history.

Now without any income of his own she plans to take all the money she has saved with her, move back into

this apartment & kick Brian out into homeless shelters.

During the week he was dodging the process server the process server became louder & more harassing.

So he finally signed for receipt of papers & of course what he needs to return to be legal in 20 days is not in there so now I will have to pay the typical Dallas area retainer for a lawyer which is 5,000.00 just so he can get out of this divorce without any infractions for not signing & returning something.

He probably won’t get any more lodging money without a 10 year marriage but at least he might get the car she left him. She & her mother never included him on the insurance policy on the car & he has no driver’s insurance from any other car so he is basically driving with the mother’s & wife’s insurance on the car.

I don’t think without a lawyer he will even get the old 11 year old car.

I have at least contacted 4 divorce lawyers in the area for consultations to see what they can do for him.

I will have to pay for the huge retainer as they are obviously not giving him the legal paperwork necessary.

I don’t want him to end up with future garnished wages or anything like that.

And of course there is alot of threatening nonsense from the wife & the process servers.

Brian’s Mom

Wylie Texas

Wylie High School

Kitchen Catastrophe

Kitchen Catastrophe So, last night I am unloading the dishwasher when I think I am experiencing vertigo because my upper cabinets in the kitchen seem to be leaning outward from the wall where they were once attached. I realize that the contents are all heavy & breakable so that they could fall or keep the cabinet falling.

Kitchen Catastrophy
Kitchen Catastrophy

I start to unload it one at a time & the cabinet as one long item with all it’s breakables falls on me. I have bruises all over my shoulders & arms. Basically it was an avalanche. All these coffee mugs, glasses are falling on my head then to my shoulders & crashing & shattering on the floor around my feet & legs. I am barefoot. I try to gingerly step out of the way to avoid the cabinetry falling on me & manage to do so as the contents continue to spray & break. In the cabinets descent it breaks the open drawers in it’s path off their tracks & off their backings so the kitchen is now impassable with this huge cabinet (one end on the floor) & one end up in the air with non-breakables still hanging in the cabinet.

I was frightened by the crashing items & the assault to my head. Of course it was about 11pm. These incidents never happen during the business day. I called Brian to please come & help me clean up the damage and he stayed with me from 11:30 til we went to breakfast at 8am. We were cleaning up broken glass & moving the broken cabinet out to the porch the whole 8 hours.

Now I notice the other cabinet on the other side of kitchen is coming away from wall only slightly so now I have to empty that one. There just isn’t enough space to store everything since the contents from the broken one are filling the counters.

I hate living in an old house.