How do you debase a narcissist?

I know this person. He is not a small man.In fact he carries alot of weight in the
community. In the local area he can get people hired & fired. I have never had an
in person conversation with this person nor have I had more than 2 very brief
business phone calls with him many many years ago. You see I used him as a vendor.
I was his & his business’ customer for many years. During those years there were some
odd incidents but nothing that caused me to stop using him as a vendor. I stopped
having need of his business years ago. I have not seen him since. Nor is there any
logical reason for the man to be a part of my life at all or to have any connection with
me or the people in my life. But he is stil for some inexplicable reason he is still a
part of my life & he daily affects greatly my life & those in my family & close circle.
There are increasing incidents of public debasement. These incidents are occuring in
frequency & they are increasing in intensity and when I say that I mean they are becoming dangerous. He is directly affecting my ability to earn a paycheck. He is directly affecting my ability to obtain a job. The last public incident occured at a job I was succeeding at. It was his work. At my father’s NH he is affecting my father’s healthcare & access to his personal clothing. I am my father’s POA & am usually able to get a medication any medication dc’d via my order or request & right away. No fight. However it took a week of talking to several staff members & having to call the corp office to finally get it stopped. This was in order to begin a long run of a long drawn out debasement of me in the eyes of the staff that works there to begin another year there of making it seem like it is the in house staff that is debasing me or being rude but instead it is actually he that is doing this thru them & only the nurse will lose her job in a
way she can never find another one. And he will still have been able to keep up a
year of debasing me thru others. Now while all of this is happening he is frequently
making comments about my family members being narcissists. This is fascinating. My
ex-husband & eldest son are not narcissists. They are self-centered & self-involved
but they are not narcissists. Narcissists only care about themselves. Self-centered
care about themselves first & sometimes care about another once they care enough
about them but always still care about themselves first. This is fine. I still have
no replacement family standing by & live alone & every once in a while a girl needs
a little company, conversation or someone to move something heavy or to fix something.
And it is nice to have someone to eat with at holiday time.

Now I find it interesting that this man I speak of has no reason to be involved in
my life at all after 3 years of not going near his business but these incidents are
not coincidences & I have heard that I am not his first morbid obsession & I will not
be the last family or life that he destroys. Since he has all this power in the
community & I have no way to prove his involvement there is no way to stop him
without moving out of state. so the ruin to my son’s life & the increasing public
debasement of mine will continue unless I change my phone number & never leave
the house except to the grocery store or move out of state. What I cannot understand
is his need to destroy the relationships that I have with family members by
creating acts of depravity & public humiliation & then calling my family
narcissists.

I can tell you this. I have never felt sorrier for any human being in my life &
I am 63. I do feel sorry for my youngest son because he has chosen a life for
himself where he is obviously unhappy.

As much as my husband & son are self-centered, controlling & all I have never once
felt sorry for them. In fact right now I envy them their self-centered ways.

But I have never felt as sorry for my youngest son as I do for the individual that
seeks to destroy or drive a wedge between my family relationships & continue to
set up as many acts of public debasement with strangers while I go along trying
to negotiate my father’s healthcare.

I feel sorry for him because he has enough money & power to choose to spend his days
having fun with his wife/daughter. Going out to eat. Going to a show. We all make
several choices a day how we wish to spend our days. The only choices he is making
all day long are to make my father as miserable as possible at his nursing home &
create as many relationships in my life that involve public debasement as possible.

Just think of the fun he could be having if he chose to spend his time on something
to do with himself or his loved ones instead of continually destroying my life &
the lives of those around me. I have never had a time in my life where my entire
days, weeks, months were consumed by someone else’s life. Or someone else’s ruining
of a life & their relationships, or their ability to earn a paycheck or have other
healthy relationships enter their life. He not only wants me constantly debased if
I leave the house. he also does not want me to be able to make enough money to not
have to make difficult choices between healthcare & food for instance later on.
He also continually strives to keep anyone & I mean anyone from entering my life
or having anything to do with me & this has been going on for 15 years.

He could simply be spending his days doing anything else. But no he keeps destroying
my relationship with my sons, my ex-husband & keeping me from paychecks. And then
that is never enough. It then amps up to making my father uncomfortable & sick to
hurt me of course. And then set up debasement any time I leave the house.

I have never felt sorrier for any human being in my life.

Never.
And he might want to stop at calling the man helping me out at the NH a narcissist.
And not attack the only remaining son I have.

The only time I have been free of this debasement & ruining of family relationships
is when I spent 4 months in another state/town. It was only upon returning to Texas
that this ruining of life & constant debasement started back up with my father on
an operating table in an ICU for 1 month without pain meds. to ensure that I knew
if I went to FL again to be happy & free of debasement that my father or some other
family member would be made to suffer.

Here is the difference between this person who’s name shall not be mentioned is

I have never felt sorry for my son nor my husband, in fact I feel envy right now
for both of them because if I were as self-centered as they are I would not be
waking up with a headache every day and going to sleep everynight with ice cubes
for fingers & a stomach ache. I would never be debased in public because you cannot
debase someone that doesn’t feel it. I would never lose the ability to earn a
paycheck because ruining the life of a narcissist is no fun so now I would be able
to have access to both groceries & healthcare. I would never have the ills & aches
of the illnesses caused by stress because a narcissist does not have stress.

No, I truly have never envied my son & his dad more before in my life. I wish I were that
self centered because now I wouldn’t have to live with the knowledge of an unfulfilled life
because there is someone with a morbid obsession with debasing & destroying my life.

The only person I feel sorry for is this oddity of the human race that is consuming
his days ruining & keeping ruined any chance I have to fulfill the choices I would make
for myself.

Advertisements